About two years ago, or so, I discovered anime.

And it changed my life.

The first anime I watched (well, I can’t remember if it was the first or second, but let’s say it was the first) was “Bocchi the Rock”. As I’ve had an interest in music all my life, and also a nearly crippling (at times) social anxiety, this anime struck an emotional chord (pardon the pun) with me and I was hooked. I loved how the anime was able to bring forth an emotional attitude, play social anxiety for laughs without being insulting or demeaning, and show how Bocchi was able to grow from a socially anxious mess to a slightly more fulfilled and happy socially anxious mess.

The second anime I watched was “Akebi’s Sailor Uniform”. While there is, indeed, much to criticize about this anime, I loved how well done the art and animation was, and how beautiful Akebi’s character was as a person. There are few works where they are so emotionally perfect that I just sat there for a few minutes after, wishing I could live in that world forever (notwithstanding the, well, things to criticize. We’ll talk about those some other time).

As my anime journey progressed, I consumed voraciously. I found some anime that were absolutely amazing, and some that were completely awful, and quite a few in between. There is so much anime out there that I haven’t even scratched the surface. I could watch anime for the rest of my life and still not see everything there is to offer.

But, I think, by and large, my anime journey has come to an end.

This end to my anime journey started with one of my favorite anime of all time, “Sound! Euphonium”. This anime follows a young high school girl, Oomae Kumiko, as she joins concert band, and grows as both a person and a musician. This anime is so well done because the characterizations are so good, but also because the music is so good.

It was this anime that reminded me how much I love music.

So, I composed something. For concert band.

My first attempt wasn’t all that great. In fact, I ended up rewriting it (with the help of a composition teacher). But it turned out passable and I hope someone, somewhere performs it sometime.

But then I wrote another piece, and it turned out so much better than the first that I’m even proud of it.

And now I have something else to spend my time on, because I have at least three more pieces in the works.

The problem with anime is that it’s time consuming. I’m not going to go so far as to say it’s a waste of time (though some anime definitely are), but it’s a consumer of time. And I have so much other stuff to do, so many other projects to do, and at some point it’s just not a useful way to spend time.

Anime also has proven to be a double edged sword in another way, as well. Japan is, well, a place that is not my home, and I have always found myself very much drawn to it. So much so that I have made some significant progress at learning the language. The problem, though, is that is isn’t my home, and whatever I, deep in my heart, think I might find there, well, I won’t. It might be a better use of my time to try to figure out what there is to salvage from my home here. Even though there isn’t much. I love Japan, but I hate here, and it might be worthwhile to figure out why. Because here is my home, and Japan never will be.

So, my anime journey is (mostly) at an end. I’ll keep an eye on it and maybe spend a weekend or two each season catching up on some of the latest, (and maybe I’ll watch an episode a night without subtitles to keep up with my Japanese studies) but I think it’s better that I spend my time in more productive ways. Anime changed my life. I’ll always be grateful to it, and I will always love Japan for giving it to me (and other reasons). But perhaps, it’s time to move on.

Thank you, anime. Thank you, Japan. And (mostly) goodbye.