You’re an interesting species, an interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable, each other.

“Contact”, Carl Sagan

I’m not a huge movie fan, but if I’m to be honest, I don’t think there are any quotes in any movies that I like more than that one.

There was a time, a long time ago, that kind of had that feeling to me. I like “Kitaro”. Kitaro is a Japanese recording artist who writes, I’m not sure quite how to characterize his genre, electronic animist music. Sometimes it’s quiet and serene, but sometimes he grabs the electric guitar and writes these amazing, soaring solos that… it’s hard to quite describe the effect they have. They’re transcendental. There are few composers that have that ability. John Williams is one. Kitaro is another.

I was listening to this music, and finding myself in a rather transcendental emotional state, and at the same time found myself skimming a news article about one of the most horrible things I’ve ever read.

Beautiful dreams and horrible nightmares. And it’s a particular brand of emotional jarring to be listening to that kind of transcendental music while reading about unimaginable human cruelty.

The nightmares never see to end, either. We search for the beautiful dreams, and sometimes we find them in the most unexpected of places. And then, those are impinged by the nightmares, and we end up with this horrible mishmash of corrupted transcendency.

“You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not.”

But are we? Are we lost, cut off, alone? It sure feels that way. I’m sure it feels that way to those people in Afghanistan that our dementia-riddled traitor-in-chief decided to leave to their own devices, even though they’re American citizens and should be entitled to the full protection of their country. It feels that way all the time. Lost, cut off, alone.

“Only you’re not”.

And that, I suppose, is the end goal of transcendency.

But I’ll admit it. I always feel lost, cut off, alone. And I wish with everything I am that I could find a reason to say “only I’m not.”